The Flatulent Mountaineers

Have you heard about the flatulent Mountaineers?
The altitude coaxes fumes from their rears
They vent their gases in high mountain passes
Their malodorous emissions have no peer

Sally shudders at the slightest suggestion
From signs of her chronic acid indigestion
She's tried many remedies to cure her extremities
She's even considered surgical correction

Sally's brother likes to live clean
If you are what you eat, then he's a pinto bean
His favorite food sometimes makes him rude
And sometimes leaves spots in his jeans

The bystanders were indignant
The smell was almost malignant
They all had a comment about the bad scent
Many said it was so unpleasant

Allen Lowrey -- April 1991


Back to Allen's Poems